Я Rate
I like to rate diners by a variety of self-serving measures that primarily involve whether I would want to spend my mornings there. To facilitate this need and in the fun spirit of ExiledOnline’s Medvedev Measuring System, I have instituted the “Медведев v. Ельцин” rating system.
This system uses the following factors to determine how many Медведев (Medvedev) or Ельцин (Yeltsin) the diner will receive in its rating - the new, sweet-looking, teddy bear Russian President being a positive rating that adds to the diner’s score, and the old, swarthy, alcoholic Russian President diminishing the diner’s score.
A Медведев can be earned by meeting the following criteria:
- Opening before 8am.
- Serving non-slimy eggs (runny yolks are OK for fried eggs).
- Having counter seating and table service.
- Attentive coffee refills (eg, my cup isn’t allowed to get empty).
- Just giving you that “this is cool” squishy feeling.
A Ельцин will be given if any of the following are committed:
- Failing to post hours or failing to stick to them.
- Having cars or records on the walls (or any other “50s Kitsch”), or white linens.
- Clothing servers in “chef drag” (eg, clothes that the cooks, not the servers, should be wearing).
- Servers saying “Does everything taste OK?” rather than “Is everything OK?” (eg, servers that don’t care about my opinion of the service).
- Having that certain “ick” factor.
Thus, the maximum rating is 5-Медведев and the minimum rating is 5-Ельцин. Generally, a place that is so bad that it’s getting 2-Ельцин or worse won’t manage to make it into the Dinerlogue in the first place (unless I just feel like trash-talking on it).
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